Wake The Fnck Up - My Path to Consciousness
It was early October and I was walking through a Halloween store. And so was the rest of the city, apparently.
Ok, not really, but in that moment, it sure felt like it. And I couldn’t stand it. The people. The capitalistic energy. The rush and disregard for one another.
It actually had me momentarily convinced I needed to spend more time in a forest. No wonder there were so many memes about running away, (that I am finally understanding).
Not long after, I found myself driving, feeling the heaviness of life and questioning why TF was this so hard? Why did everything feel so heavy? Why do I go through this feeling every few months? Is this it, forever?!
I have already made huge career and personal growth, but always feeling like something was missing. There has got to be more….
As a part of my professional education, I have spent the last few months digging into trauma and the human mind. And all readings connected to the highly researched benefits of meditation. Maybe you’re like me and you have dabbled in meditation, but could never seem to get it to stick.
Well, until now.
And let me say, if you want something to stick, you have to know why you’re doing it. You have to have a fundamental belief and understanding of the benefits. (side note - If you want to bring new activities to your life and change your patterns - such as meditation, fitness, morning routines, improved relationships etc etc etc - go learn about it deeply!)
Making the connection from feeling the heavy burden of life, the state of my mind, and the past traumas I had experienced, I realized that my mind needed even more work than I thought.
And I have done therapy, I journal, exercise and do allll the things. But, I still didn’t address the root of my suffering, I just unknowingly found ways to cope through.
Within my process of learning, I explored the various styles of meditation and also dove into learning more about consciousness. I learned how strongly we need to develop consciousness, speaking from a western viewpoint. Learning how almost 50% of our day is spent unconscious was alarming.
With both meditation and consciousness, the goal is to actually be in the present moment. Which means we are not ruminating on the past (and feeling depressed) and not worrying about the future (and feeling anxious).
Touching on thoughts of the past or the future reminds me of an INCREDIBLE book I read was called “How to Do The Work” (highly recommend - you’ll see at the bottom of this post). A line from the book by Dr. LePera was “You are the thinker of your thoughts. You are not your thoughts.”
Woah, am I?
It is important to note that what you think and the way you think is highly conditioned from your life experiences and the trauma you have endured. It is also important to note that trauma is not always one singular devastating event. Trauma can and is many things including: illness or injury, death or loss of a loved one, loss of a purpose/job, accident, childbirth, emotional abuse,, unmet emotional and attachment needs as a child, racism, bullying, a global pandemic. And more. Just wanted to make that clear.
“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have.”
When you are in the present moment, you are free from suffering. You can move slower, with more intention, more calmness, and peace.
The more regularly you can be present, allowing your mind to relax, your body to feel safe and at rest, your nervous system can calm and move to a rest and digest state. In this state, we react less abrasively, we feel less tension. Our resources are used for higher brain functions such as planning for future, problem solving, emotional regulation - and not focused on ‘survival’. This is the place where we can feel playful, curious, creative, compassion and love. This is THE place. Here we we can operate at higher levels, feel peace within, feel free, and help protect our body from the many health conditions that are linked to being in a chronic stressed state.
Let me tell you, becoming aware of how UNCONSCIOUS we are living is a mindtrip. But I have seen it as the tipping point we all need to have. I truly see that without building our consciousness and deep inner awareness, we can not grow to truly feeling peace. We can fill your day with all the business tasks, social media consumption, hot yoga and back squats that we want, but if we do not address our mind and find consciousness, the present day suffering we see so regularly - chronic stress/mood swings/self criticism/emotional eating patterns - will keep spinning it’s wheels inside of us.
I believe this so much so, that even as a fitness coach who strongly believes in the power of movement, I can’t even bring myself to educate on social media about squats or hiit or mobility right now (I know, right!) because in the current space I am in, there is literally nothing more important than helping people find peace through their suffering.
I have always believed and advocated that health and wellness starts with the mind. However, my deep understanding of the conscious vs unconscious mind just grew x 10.
For me personally, on my Wake The Fnck Up journey, I am treading very lightly. Cautious to move too fast and loose the, quite literal, moment by moment decision to be conscious. Which means I am not sure what will come of my biz social and blog posts over the next little bit. Right now I am living for my present work with coaching clients and, of course, my everyday real live life.
All that to say if you want to connect, inboxes and emails work great. Otherwise, keeping following me on instagram as my awakening develops and carries over into my work. We can watch it unfold together ;)
I am going to close this off with a few tips or resources.
Firstly, If you resonate with any of the following, I strongly recommend diving in and doing the work towards your path of consciousness.
Do you ever:
feel stuck in bad habits
feel stuck in patterns
run on autopilot
overthink
struggle with depression/low mood/anxiety
hyper focus on high achieving
have high connection to special media engagement
feel numb/empty
feel like something is missing
struggle with ongoing muscle tension/gut/gi issues
have a longing to heal and grow
these are just a few listed by Dr. Lepera
Suggestions:
First and foremost, I recommend the book “How to Do The Work”. Game changer to work towards becoming a self-healer.
Other recommendations:
-Free Course through Coursea Foundations of Mindfulness
-Article: How to Become More Conscious in Every Day Life
-Book: Transforming Trauma
-Book: The Body Keeps Score
-Meditation apps like Insight Timer, Headspace and Calm
-Local organizations such as Mindfulness Hamilton (Hamilton, Ontario)
Signing off with a quote from psychologist Dr. LePera,
“In order to achieve mental wellness, you must begin by being an active, daily participant in your own healing “
Remember: Healing is a daily event. I hope every day, you choose it with me.
Until next time, whenever that is…
Jackie
