Wine Isn’t Self Care (sorry not sorry) But Here’s 10 Things That Are
Kicking your feet up and downing a bottle of red on a Friday night might feel like self care in the moment, but I am going about to share why this actually can promote the opposite effect (booooo, I know).
Self care has been a huge buzz word the past few years, but what does it truly mean? Self care is defined as a ‘multidimensional, multifaceted process of purposeful engagement in strategies that promote healthy functioning and enhance well-being’. Basically, it is ones intentional choices and actions they take to improve their physical, mental and emotional health.
Self care for many- which isn’t always soothing activities and relaxation - is something they haven’t learned how to prioritize. Family structures and generational roles within the home, hustle culture aka the western approach to work and capitalism, and our overall sense of constant busyness, all are the norm and all are contributing factors to how we live out our weeks, often unconsciously.
So when time is limited and work demands are at an all time high, it makes sense that convenience food is so helpful, and a lack of daily movement is the norm.
When your perception of life is that it is consuming and stressful, it makes sense that ordering in fast food, pouring a few glasses of wine, while lounging and watching Netflix can feel like the only self care one needs.
But remember how I said it is ones intentional choices and actions that they take to improve their physical, mental and emotional health?
That self care scenario I just described can be a perfect way to unwind - on occasion. But if it’s a regular occurrence? Not so good.
There are no intentional actions being put towards better managing and building a higher tolerance for stress.
The fast food & alcohol may feel good in that moment, but now you’ve impacted your quality of sleep (alcohol in your system means you’ll spend less time in REM sleep and wake up even more tired), and the food you eat will impact your good gut bacteria and trigger inflammation.
Long term, both of these have an effect on your gut health, mental health, blood sugar, cholesterol, liver, increase risk of diseases, and essentially increases the stress you were trying to minimize. All are then contributing to feelings of overwhelm, tiredness and being less equipped to manage life as it comes.
So if wine is not self care, then what is it and how does it feel?
Let’s remember that self care is imperative for building resilience to stress and life demands, essentially so you can manage it well and continue to live a life that feels good.
It is in doing the actions - over and over - that they have the opportunity to have a positive effect on your physical and mental health. Here are 10 action areas of self care you can dial into.
Here we go:
Healthy Sleep - recommended 7-9 hours for an adult each night
Nutritious Food - plenty of fruits and vegetables, protein, water, and not skipping meals
Exercise - movement everyday and aiming to get your heart really pumping several times a week
Minimizing Use of Technology - be curious how tech affects you (excess tv, social media, news consumption) and if it has a negative effect, try to take a break or create boundaries around it
Be in nature & get daily sunlight - exposure to nature not only makes you feel better emotionally, it contributes to your physical well-being, reduces blood pressure, heart rate, muscle tension, and the production of stress hormones. Sunlight is essential for health & well-being, including the production of Vitamin D.
Relaxation - try activities such as mindfulness, yoga, and breathing exercises
Journaling - Learning how to work through and release what's on your mind, find appreciation and gratitude for what is, and help build a sense of well-being
Time management - simplify your schedule by being intentional in planning what you want to do, and reducing the activities that are depleting you.
Fun and social connection - this area is so important for our wellness and one that reduces quickly as we age. Taking time to do more activities you enjoy, as well as connecting and spending time with others makes a big impact on how we feel
Support & Sharing - Find ways to express our struggles can help us make sense of them. Explore leaning into a supportive friend or family member, or reaching for external support through therapy, counselling or community groups.
There are so many actions we can do that will compound and help us generate an improved sense of well-being. And honestly, some days doing these actions will feel great. They might even feel relatively easy, like putting on your shoes and going for a walk when the sun is shining and you have energy pumping in your body.
But even more important is understanding that many times, they won’t always feel easy. There can be a short term cost for this long term benefit.
For example:
Getting outside when you want to lay on the couch - cost. Completing those daily walks over several months and years - huge benefit.
Having an uneasy conversation about boundaries with a family member - cost. Having those boundaries honoured by someone else or enforced by you so you can have more peace - huge benefit.
Choosing to take time to prep your lunches on Sunday so you can have nourishing meals through your busy work week - cost. Having nourishing meals at work… well, you know where I am going with this.
Now, I know you’re convinced you SHOULD be prioritizing your wellness more - but it just isn’t happening. So what do you do?
Start with identifying the biggest need, or opportunity, as I like to call it.
Are you feeling stressed and overwhelmed all the time? Work with that. What can you incorporate every day to begin managing this better? 10 minute breathing sessions. A daily unplugged walk to release this energy. Prioritizing sleep and improving your bedtime routine. All examples of ways to start tackling that opportunity.
If nutrition is a pain point - start there. Can you increase your water intake? Cook from home more often? Add a serving of vegetables every day?
At the end of the day - your quality of life is what matters. Having self-care non-negotiables will support you to live a fuller, healthier, happier and more vibrant life.
And since you are reading this, then I know you have the awareness that life *can* feel better, and the desire to make it that way. This is very exciting for you - because that’s really step one. Start incorporating actions from the areas above and over time, your self-care will pay off.
But maybe you know you need more support to actually make feeling better a reality. You want to make this happen and are tired of struggling through it solo.
Then apply to become a personal client of mine in my CAC virtual coaching program. Calm & Confident is a high accountability virtual program where I expertly build you a fitness & movement program, coach you through nutrition week to week and incorporate a wellness protocol so you can take your wellness to the next level. It’s a 4 month proven program and I am looking for someone just like you to join my team. Learn more here.
Until next time,
Jackie
